I’m reproducing a diary entry from 24th July 2016 which I read tonight and felt like sharing.
I just watched Capote, which is based on Truman Capote’s experience of writing In Cold Blood, his ‘non-fiction novel’. In this film, Perry Smith, one of the imprisoned killers, writes an acceptance speech and says he’d use it someday if he were to ever win anything. I find the film to be so-so, but Perry inspired me to write an impromptu award acceptance speech for myself too, just in case life does me a big one and I end up winning.
It’s incredible how all of you are applauding this success of mine. You’re all here, making this moment real and wonderful, and you’ll will always be part of this moment that I’m seeing – which will soon become a glowing memory that I’ll revisit often.
But I have to say that you all weren’t with me all the time. I mean, I don’t think I saw an applauding audience when I chose writing instead of making shit-ton of money spewing jargon in a marketing job. I didn’t see someone calling out my name to give me an award when I sat down and wondered if I’ll ever make it as a writer in this lifetime, or if I’d just fade away as one of those people who tried but didn’t try hard enough.
I guess that’s how life works. You work so hard and there are these people who make all the sacrifices to make sure you do what you want to do, but then you get recognition in front of a bunch of people who’re mostly strangers who don’t give a fuck that you made it, and won’t give a fuck if you manage to stick around or just fade away. This makes me think tonight is just an ephemeral circlejerk.
So instead I’d like to thank the reason I live and breathe today – my mother and my father for going through all the ordeals of the world with me. I’d like to thank them first and last, because they made it all happen right from the word go. My mother especially – her patience, her inquisitiveness, her polite motivation, it all kept me going from time to time, it all helped me grow from strength to strength, and I guess, it’s all her, and if I had it my way, she should have been the one standing here and accepting this award.
We’re living in a world that’s a million years old or something. I think it’s time we recognised motherhood as the only effort really worth awarding. It’s so hard to win Award for Best Mom, and yet every other mom you meet is like a two-time winner. So if I’ve not made it clear already – This is for every mother in the world. Thank you, Moms. You power our lives.